


The Food Network Presents Yours, Mine, Ours

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: The Food Network Presents… [4]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Jared has to figure out how to balance celebrity and reality while Jensen worries about Wednesday and bonds with Chad. They both think about old relationships and are happy to be with each other.</p><p>Note: Begins directly after The First Date.</p><p>Words: 16,871</p><p>Bunny care of: mediaville found here: http://mediaville.livejournal.com/12649.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Food Network Presents Yours, Mine, Ours

As they climbed into bed Jensen asked softly, “Why don’t the others like Chad?” 

Jared sighed and felt silly, “He’s kind of a fucktard.”

“So why is he your best friend?” asked Jensen smiling but he must have felt Jared’s shoulders stoop slightly. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Jared took a deep breath. It was embarrassing. Instead of looking at Jensen, Jared rested his head on his sternum. It was easier to say it to Jensen’s chest. “When I was first at NYU, Chad was in my intro to computer science lecture. And I was dating this great guy: funny, hot, smart, everything you want. One day Chad comes up to me, and I kinda knew him: he was the dude who always fell asleep and snored during lecture. And he says, ‘Look, that Milo guy seems like a douche.’ I was so pissed off; this irritating, dumbass was giving me advice. So I ignored him and ignored his friend request on Facebook.” 

Jared laughed thinking about it. Chad had been like an eager puppy and he had pushed him away. The thought of what came next sobered him. Jensen was running his fingers through Jared’s hair, soothingly. “But Milo wasn’t really everything I could want because he was moody. And even though I thought he was funny, hot, and smart he didn’t think I was any of those things. And that’s when I got really homesick and started cooking and wondering what the fuck was wrong with me: why I wasn’t exactly who he wanted. Milo said that I’d better be careful with all the cooking that I didn’t get fat. Chad tried to warn me off again and I was really rude to him. I didn’t know that Chad was an orderly at the hospital but he was the first person I saw when I woke up in the ER. He didn’t say anything, just gave me a tight smile and he went and beat the shit out of Milo who was in the sitting in the waiting room. Chad’s wiry but he’s really strong and fast.  
“The cops grabbed him and asked him what the hell he was doing and Chad said in typical Chad style, ‘Why the fuck don’t you ask his boyfriend what I’m doing? His boyfriend is the one who looks like a kicked puppy, has a black eye, two missing teeth, four broken ribs, and internal bleeding. Ask Jared why I’m beating on the fucker I’ve been telling him to dump since the beginning of the semester.’ The cops came in and I told them that I fell down the stairs. They knew I was lying, I could tell even as I was saying it. They wanted me to be honest, they were nice, but I was so scared my momma would find out. She didn’t know I was gay, y’know? Chad spent the night in the drunk tank, almost lost his job. And he never held it against me. Said it made him legitimately street.”

“Jesus, Jay.”

He looked up and pulled his lip back, pointing to two on the left he said, “These are my two fake ones. They couldn’t get my old ones back in before the roots died because I was so swollen. But they’re fake not caps,” he laughed. “Implants. He picked up my transfer forms while I was still in the hospital. He almost got fired again because he would kind of forget he was on the clock and just come in and chat when he was supposed to be working. We became really close. He was really nice and didn’t call me an idiot for not dumping Milo. He tried to set me up with Mike which was just funny. Mike’s so not someone I would ever date but there’s a really obvious difference between Mike and Milo. Mike is smart, funny, and attractive and thinks that I’m awesome. Chad thinks the world is a nice place with nice people and that if everyone shut the fuck up and listened to the Chadinator we’d all be better off.” 

“Damn.” 

“And when I decided to come out to my family my momma took it hard. She wasn’t mad or angry she was just sad. Chad invited himself to my house for spring break and I thought it was so she wouldn’t get to me. But instead he acted super straight, and was being a perfect Christian, and so abrasive. And I realized that he was being a caricature of who she wanted me to be. And within four days she was laughing at him and just being Momma and he stopped being so over the top and we just hung out with my family and had a really good time. And after that she always the first one to ask after boyfriends and if I was bringing anyone special home. And she would call Chad and ask him if so and so really was nice or if she should worry because in the end I couldn’t not tell her about Milo. So see, if you listen to Chad your life is better. And so, even though Chad’s a dick, he’s my best friend because he’s one of the kindest and idealistic guys I know.” Jared kissed Jensen’s jaw. “Be nice to him, okay?” 

“When you put it like that I really want to steal your best friend.” 

Jared grinned, “Thank you.” 

“Has she asked about me?” 

“The shit storm about you getting married happened about a month after I told her I was gay.”

“Oh dear,” Jensen sounded sad.

Interrupting Jared said, “No, she loves you. You kidding me? Her Texan baby’s gay and here’s another gay good ol’ boy getting shit because he wants to be with his best friend and have a baby? She was livid and wanted to find out where you were living so that she could hug you both and make you dinner. She never said anything at the time she told me about it after you and I started not-dating. Momma really likes you, Jen, and she hasn’t met you yet. I mean she felt for you then and now all she hears about is Jensen this, Jensen that, Jamie’s doing such and such, Jamie’s learning such and such, Jensen and I are going to do yada-yada. So now she really likes you because I’m happy and I’m not talking that much about shooting, or the dogs, or when I’m going to go see her and Dad. I mean, I still talk about those things: I’m going over to them on date night. But even when we were not-dating she knew that you were a good guy because I was so happy.” He felt rather than heard Jensen’s pause as the fingers in his hair stilled. “Should I not have said that? I mean I know that saying you’re in love is different than saying you’re happy. And is it too early to say that you make me happy?” He craned his neck up and saw the strange way Jensen was looking at him. “I take it back,” he said quickly.

Jensen chuckled, “Don’t take it back.” His hand ran down Jared’s face and held his chin lightly. “Don’t take it back. I just wasn’t expecting it. You’re making me happy. I know I’m kinda fucked up but you’re making me happy. And you reintroduced me to all my friends. It also sort of worries me.” 

“Why?” asked Jared gently. 

“Because I’m still not that bouncy, loquacious guy on youtube. This might be as happy as I get. And maybe that’s okay, I mean I’m okay with it. I’m happy. But don’t you like that guy on youtube?”

“Sure, I like you on youtube. But those videos, even the newest ones, are six years old. So you’re right I am angry: how dare you be more grown up and calm at twenty-nine than you were at twenty-three? I can’t believe you had the gall to meet me as an adult. How dare you not be able to revert to being a giggly post-grad?” He laughed and moved up the bed to kiss Jensen. He meant it as he said, “I like you, Jen. I like you happy, and sad, and drunk, and angry. I like who you are now. And I mean, I don’t have a master plan here. My goal isn’t to mold you into the dude on youtube. My goal is to slowly move all of my stuff over here without you realizing that I’ve moved in. I’m working on that goal. Got the driver to swing by my house to grab two pairs of jeans, my comfy flip-flops, and four tee-shirts. I’m not aiming to overhaul your life or upset what you’ve got going on I just want to be a part of it.” 

Jensen laughed, “Do you honestly think that you haven’t changed anything?” Jared started to pull away, “Meals out, seeing all of my friends, being happy while drunk, playing music for fun? Jay, you changed everything. In really good, positive, twenty-three-year-old-Jensen-would-recognize-this-as-his-life ways. Six months ago if my old self had seen me he would have been so confused and upset that things could end up that way. But this feels like my life again, this person I am around you feels like me. I just don’t know if it can get any better than this or if we’ve reached a flat patch.”

Jared shook his head and said, “Look at it this way: that laughing, frequently drunk/stoned, just out of college kid couldn’t be a good dad to Jamie. He would be too rash. Jamie needs his calm, clever, thoughtful Daddy not a kid on youtube. And I know that a lot of you was formed by Tricia’s death but a lot of it is being the sole parent to a baby with a scary immune system. You have to be a calm, clever, thoughtful man because that kid on youtube would fuck up. So if I was aiming for that kid, it would ruin Jamie’s life. And tonight, coming home to a party with y’all playing Jamie’s new sheet music even though Jamie was in bed? That was awesome.” 

Jensen blushed and Jared kissed his face, warmth beneath his lips. “I’m so pleased that he loves music, because you can’t make someone. And he’s so good. The school is used to trying to put kids on fast tracks with all the over eager famous parents. And they wanted to give him two hours of music every morning. And I had to go in and have a fight. They were all, ‘Mr. Ackles, we want to do right by Jamie.’ Can you believe that? I was like, ‘No, what’s right by him is to not make him think music is a chore at four years old.’ So he gets piano three times a week for forty-five minutes. And then they have this great rewards system where the kids who’ve been good get to choose an extra elective period on certain days. He always chooses piano.” 

“He’s six, what determines being good? What happens to the bad kids?” 

“Well, when they’re six they all get the prize. It’s only when they’re older that it actually becomes being a reward. And then you know, it’s the kids who are having trouble in a class having smaller groups for an extra period of science, math, language, or history while the others hone their electives. It’s a way of fitting two periods of tutelage into the week. I think it’s brilliant. It’s motivating and helps people get through without much stigma. And this way Jamie sees music as his reward not work. Then he comes home, does his homework, plays the piano, eats dinner, watches some TV, has a bath, and goes to bed. He has an incredibly regimented schedule but other than the homework and bath it just seems like he’s playing because he has a say in dinner, and what we watch, and what he plays. He has close to two hours a day on the bench but he’s only playing Bach for forty-five minutes. The rest is Our Lady Peace, Styx, Bad Company and he doesn’t know he’s practicing. It’s fucking genius.” 

“See? The guy in those videos wouldn’t be so excited about ways to hide education. You’re way better than that dude.”

“I want you on your knees.”

“Jesus, Jen.” Jared smiled, moving in the bed to get onto his hands and knees. He felt Jensen’s gaze on him. It felt good; felt like what Jared wanted. 

After Milo, Chad had made a rule about Jared not dating fucktards. It had been quite a complicated rule and had clauses to include shitheads, douche bags, and men closeted to their friends. Jensen wasn’t a fucktard, a shithead, douche bag, or closeted; Jensen was a good boyfriend. This relationship, new though it was, was the nicest one Jared had ever been in. He wanted this to work, needed it to, and so he was already thinking of the conversations he would have to have in the morning to be able to go with Jamie to school. He didn’t want to be smeared in the rags but he wanted to cook for Jamie’s class and he didn’t want to be introduced as being Jensen’s “good friend”. It was too important. 

“Are you going to touch me or just stare at my ass all night?” he finally asked. 

With a completely even, almost uninterested, voice Jensen said, “I’m weighing my options.” 

“Jen,” Jared whined. And then Jensen was draped all over him. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, this is horrible for me,” Jensen said in the same even tone. He kissed Jared’s neck and said, “You taste like summer.” 

“Chlorine?”

“And sweat, and a little barbeque smoke. It’s fucking awesome, Jay.” He bit Jared’s neck, “Spread your legs for me.” Jared was still loose from the pool and Jensen stretched him open easily. “You feel so good. I’m gonna slide inside of you,” said Jensen as he opened a condom. “And I’m going to lift you at the hips and you’re going to kneel up so you’re in my lap with your back to my chest. And I going to fuck you so hard ‘cause you’re gonna ride me. Okay?”

“Jesus. Jensen. How are you so matter of fact about it?” Jensen slid into him easily, slick and slow, “God, Jen, so good.” 

“Doesn’t hurt?” 

“No, it’s so good. You can move me I’m good.” Jensen pulled him up and against his chest and Jared groaned. “Yeah, like that.” He leaned back, kneeling with his legs on either side of Jensen. Jensen ran his hand down Jared’s cheek. Resting his head back on Jensen’s shoulder he said, “I like this.” 

Jensen kissed his cheek, “You look so pretty, and you feel like heaven. Ready to move?” Jared shook his head slowly, almost lolling. So Jensen released his hips and instead stroked his fingers over Jared’s abdomen. “I love being this close to you.” Jared nodded and Jensen laughed, “You’re strangely quiet.” 

“I’m floating; gimme a minute.” He placed his hands over Jensen. “Love this so much.”

“Sex?” asked Jensen.

Jared regretted saying it aloud but found his answer. “Sex with someone I love and who loves all of me, not just the body, or the sense of humor, or the chef, or the celebrity but me.”

Jensen kissed his cheek again, “I love all of you.” Jared started to move, riding him.

And it was true. He’d been in a series of stupid relationships. Men who liked one thing about him either his looks, or name, or the fact that he fed them. He’d given up and thought that maybe, being gay and living in Texas would never work. And then he’d met Jensen and Jensen had disliked him. When he’d first started not dating Jensen, Chad had been worried. He’d told Jared that setting his cap at a dude who’d been so burned as Jensen was asking for more heartbreak. But Jared had ignored it because Jensen was a good and kind man who would maybe warm to him. And Chad being pissed at him for a while was well worth it if it ended with him in Jensen’s lap, with Jensen’s chest at his back, and Jensen kissing his neck. 

“So this is good?” Jensen asked with a raspy laugh. “I like you for way more than your cooking and I’m glad you stayed in Texas.” 

“Y’know, I don’t mean to keep saying things about ex boyfriends in bed.”

Jen licked his shoulder, “You just don’t have a filter.” He met Jared’s thrusts while panting between words.

“Sorry.”

“I like everything about you, remember?”

And Jared knew that most gay guys fucked about a lot, the stereotype was true. But he’d never been like that. As he had told Jensen, he liked being in committed relationships. And he liked to pretend that every relationship he was in would be the last, that this was the one that ended in happily ever after. This time he really meant it because Jensen was the best boyfriend he’d ever had. He threw his head back on Jensen’s shoulder as he came. He kept moving, working to get Jensen off. Once Jensen came Jared stayed where he was, panting, and sated. 

Jensen moved Jared gently off of him and said, “I know it isn’t conventional for young widowers to live like monks. And when Tricia and I were married I had a couple of boyfriends over time that weren’t serious. And it didn’t matter because Tricia and I were Jamie’s parents, we were a unit. The guys could come and go because they weren’t central. But now I’m the only one he has and I have to be careful about who I date because when you’re dating me you’re dating him too. And if we end badly, he loses too. You wouldn’t be in this bed if I wasn’t banking on a happily ever after. We never would have gotten past not dating if I didn’t see a real future for us because it’s his future and he’s had enough sadness without me bringing you into his life, and him loving you, and us being a flash in the pan. So don’t worry about us just fizzling out. We’re good.” He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. He came back moments later with a wet wash cloth and stared to wipe at Jared. “I also think it would have been awesome to be your first. But considering you were fourteen I’m glad I didn’t statutorily rape you.”

“I said that?”

Jensen nodded with a laugh as he threw a pair of Jared’s sweats onto the bed. “Sex with you is very informative. I learn so much.”

“Sorry.”

“I like it, Jay.” Jensen kissed him, slowly. “Love you.” He stepped into his PJs and climbed into bed next to Jared. 

Jared curled up against Jensen and said, “God, I’m actually tired. This is a first: tired after sex.”

Jensen chuckled. “I’m taking that as a compliment.” 

“You should.” 

Jensen pulled him closer. “Go to sleep, it’s late.”

~~~

He woke up as Jamie climbed into bed, between him and Jared. “Hey, baby, you good?”

“I’m good, sleepy.” 

Jensen rested his arm around him. “Go to sleep, baby.”

“Morning, Jamie,” Jared said and Jamie leaned forward and kissed Jared’s nose. And then closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Jared watched Jamie for a moment and then said softly, “I’m getting up. But I’ll come wake you, seven-thirty?” Jensen nodded and Jared leaned over Jamie to kiss him. He pulled away after only a second and said, “Sorry about the morning breath.”

“I don’t care,” said Jensen and pulled him down for a longer kiss. “Sorry if mine bothers you.”

“No, it doesn’t. Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you.” 

Jensen nodded and cuddled Jamie close to his chest. But he couldn’t fall back to sleep. Instead he thought about his schedule for the rest of the week, what he would cook for dinner, and tomorrow. Jamie stirred a little and wiggled up Jensen’s chest. His head rested just beneath his father’s chin and Jensen stayed still, breathing in the scent of No More Tears shampoo. Jamie started to snore again and Jensen sank into the noise. In the kitchen he heard Jared letting the dogs out into the yard and turning on the coffee pot. Jensen inched up so that he could reach his day planner and glasses on the bedside table. He held Jamie against him so that he wouldn’t slip off. He opened his planner, put on his glasses, and looked at his Wednesday and sighed. He would send out an email to his theory and history classes. But the three students he was supposed to be meeting with would have to be called. Thankfully, Jamie was a heavy sleeper. He flicked through the pages of the planner to find Leon’s number first. He dialed and leaned back against the headboard. 

Picking up Leon said, “Professor Ackles?” He heard a yawn. 

“Hey, Leon. Did I wake you? I thought you opened Starbucks on Tuesdays?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Leon said with another yawn. “I’m just not a morning person. What’s up, Professor?”

“I wanted to see if we could reschedule this week. I won’t be in school tomorrow.” 

They spoke for a little while longer, figuring out their meeting time. Jensen repeated the process twice more. Jamie woke up and looked at him owlishly before shutting his eyes again. Jamie was always like this in the mornings, in and out if consciousness and cuddly. Jensen hated the idea that he would grow out of it. 

As he finished the phone calls Jared came in and said, “Oh, I was just about to wake you.”

“Hey,” said Jensen softly, “I was sorting out my schedule.” 

Jared leaned down to kiss him again, “It’s seven thirty.” 

“Thank you.” Jensen removed Jamie from his chest and said, “Fast shower. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.” 

~~~ 

Jared had woken up early and when Jamie had come into bed Jared had been unable to lie still any longer. He was a natural morning person and he only needed six hours of sleep. So he had gotten up and put the dogs out into the backyard. And then as he turned on the coffee pot, he sat up on the counter, and pulled out his cell phone. He hit his mom’s number in his address book and she picked up after the second ring. 

“Hey, JT.”

“Hey, Momma. How are you?”

“Good, how are you?”

“I’m good.” 

“Yeah? Why you calling so early?”

“Jamie’s asked me to go to school with him next Monday to talk about being a chef. And I’m really excited. It’s his bring a parent to school day, y’know? And I’m totally thrilled that he asked me.” He felt a little nervous about the conversation so he picked up Jensen’s recipe book and started to flick through. Finding the breakfast section he slowed down. He saw a recipe for hot rice cereal and jumped off the counter. 

“JT, that’s lovely.”

“It is. But paparazzi hangs around the school. So I’m probably going to be outted. Which is unfortunate, but at the same time, it can’t be a secret forever. I just wanted to warn you.” He pulled the rice out of the cupboard and poured out the right amount to rinse.

“Oh, JT.” She sounded worried, “What are you going to do?” 

“I’m going to talk to the Network and see what they want. But no matter what they say, I’m cooking with Jamie’s class.” 

“Good for you, sweetheart. Are you cooking because you’re worried about me freaking out?”

“A little, a little to calm me down, a little to feed Jamie.” He rinsed the rice and transferred it into the saucepan and got soy milk out of the fridge. “I’m following Jensen’s recipe for brown rice cereal.” He poured the milk over the rice and sat back up on the counter to wait for it to cook. He stirred in cinnamon and sugar. “Nothing nicer than warm cereal and cold juice to start off a scorcher. It sets you on an equilibrium.” 

“True. So what are you doing today?”

“Sound looping. Boring.”

“You still coming for dinner on Friday?” 

“Yeah, that would be fantastic, thank you.” They spoke for a while longer, the dogs, the summer, going to school with Jamie. Jared stirred the rice as it sucked in the milk and thickened. Finally he said, “I should go wake up Jensen, I turned off his obnoxious alarm clock… well, I assume it’s obnoxious, I haven’t actually heard it but it’s an alarm clock.” 

She laughed, “Okay, go, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too, Momma.” He hung up, took the saucepan off the heat, and jumped off the counter. In the bedroom he saw that Jensen was on the phone too. Jared smiled as Jensen hung up, “Oh, I was just about to wake you.”

Jensen said something about schedules but Jared didn’t really take it in because Jensen was wearing his glasses. His oh-so-fucking-sexy glasses. So instead he kissed him. Jensen could be in a porno as a college professor. But porn stars were rarely as attractive as Jensen. In fact, people were rarely as attractive as Jensen. Jensen went into the bathroom and Jared lied down next to Jamie who blinked awake. 

“Made you rice cereal, you hungry or you want to wait for Daddy?” Jamie didn’t respond he just cuddled up to Jared. “You’re not a morning person, are you?” 

Jamie made a shushing sound, “Quiet, it’s quiet time. I’ll be up in a minute.” 

“Ya want me to go away?” 

“No, just be quiet for a little while.” Jamie breathed slow and deep and Jared thought he’d fallen back to sleep but then he said, “Daddy’ll be out in a second and I’ll get dressed.”

“Whose coming to school today?” 

“Mr. Morgan.” 

“What does he do?” asked Jared.

“He’s retired. But he used to be the head of the Secret Service. He worked there a really long time. He protected Ford, Carter, Reagan, both Bushes, and Clinton.” 

“Wow,” said Jared. “That’s awesome.” 

Jensen came out rubbing the towel over his hair. “Are you already talking?” 

“Jared doesn’t respect quiet time.” 

“Sorry, I’m not very good at quiet,” Jared apologized. 

Jensen laughed as he pulled a shirt over his head. “Jared’s never going to be quiet.” He picked Jamie up and said, “Ready to get dressed?” Jamie nodded and allowed Jensen to pick him up. “I’m sorry mornings are so early. This is why you have to get good sleep every night.” Jamie nodded but allowed his head to flop onto his dad’s shoulder. “Wanna wear your Harry Potter shirt today?” Jamie roused a little at that. 

“Yeah, Daddy. I like that shirt.”

“I know.” He carried Jamie through to his own bedroom.

Jared followed them and went into the kitchen to cut up apples. He heard Jensen asking Jamie what seemed to be a ritualized question about whether or not it was an important day and why it was important before the door cut off the sound. Jared smiled and cut the apples up into ten tiny slices each. Jensen came in moments later with a fully dressed Jamie carrying his backpack. “That smells amazing.”

“Rice cereal.” 

Jensen smiled at him, “Tricia’s favorite.”

“Oh, I’m-” 

“No, it’s good. I can’t really bring myself to make it. But I do love it. I can eat it.” He sat down at the table and served himself and Jamie. No sooner had Jared sat down and they had begun to eat that a car pulled into the drive. “Why is Jeff here?” 

“That’s Jeff Morgan?” asked Jared as Jeff stepped out of the car. He was a built dude and Jared wasn’t surprised that he was the head of the Secret Service.

“Yeah, I hope nothing’s wrong. It’s his day to drive the boys.” He opened the backdoor and called out, “Come around this way. Jamie,” he turned to his son, “eat your breakfast.”

“There’s enough for them too,” said Jared. “I haven’t made it before and I didn’t realize how much the recipe would yield.”

Jeff came in and said, “Figured we’d come a bit early so that we could have a chat, haven’t done that in a dog’s age.” He looked at Jared and said, “I’m Jeff Morgan.”

“I’m Jared. Do y’all want some breakfast? I made hot rice cereal.”

Tim said, “I love rice cereal.”

Jared stood and filled a bowl for the boy, “Jeff, how ‘bout you?” 

“No, thank you, Jared. I’m just gonna help myself to some coffee.” Jeff filled a mug and sat down next to Jamie and Tim. “So, what are your intentions, Jared?” 

“My intentions?” repeated Jared.

“Towards my boys,” clarified Jeff. There was no smile in his eyes, no joke in his tone. 

But Jared couldn’t not smile. “My intentions are to go to Parent’s Day on Monday and cook lunch.” 

“Yeah?” asked Jamie, excitedly. “‘Cause I asked Daddy but I didn’t ask you.”

“Daddy talked to me when I got home last night. I’m thinking that if we do not-too-spicy Cajun burgers everyone can make their own patties. We’ll make some yummy dressing so everyone can play with whisks, and I’ll make beetroot chips as that’s fun to watch: I have a clear deep fryer so everybody can watch for a safe distance. And we’ll have fruit salad for dessert. Sound good?” 

Jamie nodded, “Sounds fun. Should we make it beforehand as a test run?”

“Sounds like a good idea; that would be fun.” 

“Are you sleeping over tonight?” asked Jamie. 

Jared glanced towards Jensen. He wasn’t sure if Jensen wanted him home tonight as tomorrow was Wednesday, Tricia’s birthday. Jensen gave him a tiny nod and Jared said, “Yeah. And I’m going to be home early as I’m done with the season. So let’s test run the menu tonight and try out some of the dressings in Daddy’s cookbook, see what goes well with the burgers.”

“Sounds fun,” Jamie scraped his bowl clean. “Is there seconds?” 

Jensen took Jamie’s bowl as well as his own and refilled them, “You’re sure you don’t want any, Jeff? It’s so good.” Jeff shook his head and drank his coffee. “Missing out. So, are you excited about today?” 

“I’m pleased I’m going before Jared. After Monday, the first thing out of the class’ mouth to any visiting parent is going to be ‘What did you bring us for lunch?’ And I’m glad I’m not going to have to face that. After last year this one should go really well.”

“So you didn’t bring a gun to show the children this time?”

“I thought they would be interested.”

“They were five and thought Tim’s dad was going to shoot them.” 

“Well I didn’t bring one this year.” 

“Why isn’t Katherine having a turn?” 

“She’s up in LA this week for reshoots for the season closer.” 

“Momma says she’ll do it next time,” Tim added as he ate.

Jeff glanced at his watch, drained his coffee, and said, “Okay, boys: finish up.” 

Jensen stood and went to the fridge, “Jamie, will you have leftovers? I’ll put some ribs and bread and potatoes in the bag? With, um,” he looked around, “raw string beans, good?”

“What about dessert?”

“Um,” Jensen stared into the fridge for a moment. 

“It’s okay, Momma made us those good cupcakes,” Tim offered. “Dad packed us one each.” 

“Good cupcakes?” asked Jensen.

“The rosewater ones, cooked in the Jamie safe cookware. Which is all we’ve been using since the sandwich incident.”

“Jamie, go get your shoes,” Jensen prompted. 

Jamie ran off and Tim followed. Jeff turned to Jared and said, “One more question, who’d ya vote for?”

“Isn’t that a secret?” asked Jared.

“I can tell a lot about a man by how he votes.”

Jared nodded, “Well, I don’t want to offend you. And I’m not a political person; I don’t try to force my beliefs on others. But I couldn’t vote for someone who feels that I deserve fewer rights because of who I go to bed with. And if, God forbid, I should become sick I want Jensen sitting there in the hospital listening to my bitching not my Momma. I want my cousin in Iraq to get a deadline for when she gets to come home. I want my Uncle Norm to be able to get health insurance so that every time he gets what he calls, ‘a little cancer’ he doesn’t go to Jeff. My brother’s a surgeon and he has to fudge all the paperwork so that he can give Norm chemotherapy at cost. And while Obama might not achieve all that in the next four years McCain didn’t even want to. I don’t talk about these things ‘cause we live in Texas and I don’t want to offend people, but it’s how I feel and that’s how I vote.”

Jeff nodded slowly, “Ignore the Texas twang; I grew in Seattle. I liked Hillary but once she was out I just had to toe the party line. I think my mom would disown me if I didn’t do the right thing.”

Jensen rolled his eyes but then thought for a second and said, “If I was Monica Lewinski I would have sent the blue dress to my mother. But I would never have told Linda Tripp and if I *had* been called to the stand I would have said I made it all up, that I was just madly in love with him but that nothing had ever happened, that I had lied about being with him but it was all a fantasy. I might have even gone so far as to say I threw myself at him and that he, the constant gentlemen, had gently but firmly turned me down. I would have stood by my man… He’s still hot.” He let his thoughts trailed off and then shouted, “Jamie, how long does it take to get shoes?” 

The boys came back and Tim said, “Jamie’s Bumblebee Transformer is so cool.”

“I know,” Jensen agreed, “sixty four moving parts. I’ll send it with Jamie to school tomorrow so you guys can play with it on your sleepover.” He turned to Jeff, “You’re still good with that?”

“Oh yeah, don’t worry. Everything is prepared. Come on, boys, don’t want to be late. Jared, awesome to meet you, I’ll see you soon.” 

The door shut behind the group and Jared said, “I never thought being a democrat would help me in this state.”

“It won him over. Come take a shower with me?” 

“Didn’t you just shower?”

“Yeah, but that was just to wake me up. This one’s for fun and we have way more time then yesterday.”

“You’d have sex with Bill Clinton?”

“I was so angry I wasn’t an intern when that all came out.” 

Jared just laughed.

~~~

Jared walked into the office and smiled at the main receptionist, “Katie Cassidy, looking lovely as always.”

“What do you want, Jared? You know your way around and pointing out that I’m hot won’t get you much as far as favors go, I hear it from losers all the time.”

“I need an appointment with Sandy today. I know it’s really short notice and all but, um, it needs to be today.” 

“She’s got a half hour free right now, go, I’ll call ahead.”

Jared walked through the offices and knocked on Sandy’s door. “Come on in, JT.”

Once upon a time Jared had convinced himself he could love Sandy and for a brief period in senior year of high school they’d been engaged. She was the first person he ever told he was gay. And now she was the de facto head of the Network. The guys in New York had the titles but they did whatever Sandy told them. 

“Hey, Sandy.”

“I hate to say it but you have literally a half hour for your urgent meeting. Say your bit fast, I’ll say my bit fast, and then if necessary we can have a fast fight.”

“Jensen Ackles.”

“We shot an episode with him but scrapped it because you gave out a bad recipe and it’s pretty obvious that he hates having you in his house.”

“Yes. We’ve been dating for a while. And it’s serious, Sandy. I mean outside of you and me it’s the most serious relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“Congratulations?” she said as a question clearly not seeing where he was going. 

“Jamie asked me to go to Parent’s Day and cook for his class. And I said yes because the little boy I am rapidly coming to think of as mine asked me to stand in as a parent. There’s a lot of paparazzi at his school. And it’s on Monday and by that night I’m sure it will be on Perez Hilton and by Tuesday all the rags will be shouting queer.”

“And you want me to be the bad guy and say no to get you out of it.”

“No. No, I want to tell you that the Network can bite me if they’re against it. If it’s the show or Jamie there’s no contest. And I know that this show holds the Network’s highest in state ratings and is the third most watched Food Network show amongst women over forty. And I know that those will go down. And I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m not trying to hurt the Network but I’m also not willing to let Jamie down. If the Network tried to sue me for the clause about presenting a moral character I will get some big advocate lawyer in to say that there is nothing immoral about being gay. And it will be a big ol’ snafu. So I’m coming to you because I know that you’re on my side but you work for the Network. Should I start clearing out my stuff?”

She took in a deep breath and said, “Okay, friend Sandy would like to say that she is thrilled and that it’s great that you’re happy and that you’re so close with them, that’s fantastic. I’ve loved you since we were kids and I couldn’t be more pleased. Now boss Sandy says that it’s all going to be okay. Your ratings have been slipping, even in Texas. People have gotten the joke, you blunder into people’s houses mid-week, the houses are never spotless or perfect, you cook a romantic dinner even when the people are rushing to get the kids out of the way, and then you just leave. And people get why it’s funny. You’re a great chef and you make great recipes, but it’s losing its novelty.  
“So here’s what we do, we out you before they can. Some people will tune into the show just to see what the rags are about and the joke will be new to them and they’ll love it. We ignore your core demographic for the moment. Your real fans will stick to it and you’d be surprised how forgiving this state can be when it’s one of their own being attacked. We’ve come a long way since Jensen was pushed into the lime light, your real fans will stay. Neil Patrick Harris has made it a lot cooler to be gay, young people are more and more accepting of gay people so you might actually get a way higher rating in the thirty-fourteen demographic. And, after this season you can hit up more people for dinner, your being gay will make it so that the issue’s already addressed, families conventional and otherwise can now have the Gallivanting Gourmet experience without the Dinner for Two caveat. I’ve been thinking about your ratings for weeks.”

Jared sat there, staring at her, “So how do we out me?”

“You need to call Jensen and ask if he and his family would do the Family Barbeque with you.” 

Family Barbeque was a series ran every summer of the different Food Network Chef’s sharing their families’ barbeque recipes. Jared had always had it with his parents and siblings. “Wow, that’s clever.”

“I splice the promo today, I’ll probably need you to shoot for a couple of minutes to say something witty like, ‘This party is going to be awesome’ you use the word ‘boyfriend’ and tomorrow it will be shown no fewer than twelve times during primetime. After that it will be on twice an hour every hour for the next two weeks. And if the paparazzi shouts ‘queer’ we all say, ‘Well, duh, having you been watching Food Network?’ We are running this like a publicity stunt. Boss Sandy says that it will undoubtedly revamp the franchise. Friend Sandy says that this will hopefully avoid a scandal and will be the best way for us to get out of this. And it might all blow up in our faces but fuck it: at least we’re doing it on our own terms. Call Jensen.”

Jared smiled and pulled out his phone Jensen picked up on the first ring. “Hey,” said Jared, “have a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Would you do the Family Barbeque with me?”

“Seriously?” 

“I’m sitting with Sandy trying to figure out how to avoid scandal and she’s a genius.”

“You’re ex-fiancée?”

“Yeah, my ex, she’s also my boss.”

“Um, so yeah, we’ll do it and y’know my family will be into it as they’ll see it as me going back into the limelight in a good way, Palickis and all. And all of our friends are practically family so we’ll have them. It’ll be the biggest Family Barbeque ever. Sometimes you watch an episode of that and they’ll have like three people and you feel badly for them. Let’s do it.”

“I’ll bring Sandy home for dinner? We’ll have the promo and talk.”

“Awesome. Will you still be home in time to do experimental cooking with Jamie?”

“I will be home by four-thirty, operation experimental cooking is still a-go. I gotta go. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Jensen said and hung up.

“He’s on board,” said Jared snapping his phone shut, “Who is going to splice this?”

“I am.”

“Don’t you have a super full day?”

She looked at her watch, “You’ve derailed my schedule by seven minutes already. Besides, the biggest stunt this network has pulled off? I’m so spearheading this. We are making it seem like you cooking at school is part of the stunt, not the moment you get caught out. I’m a fucking genius.” She hit the button on her desk that allowed her to talk to her secretary, “Please clear my schedule.”

“Ms. McCoy, you have two video conferences and-”

“No, I didn’t ask if it was convenient to clear my day I told you to. If anyone gets angry at you, you direct them to my voicemail but I need you to clear my day.”

“Dinner reservation?”

“That too, blank the slate, I need to do a lot of work.” She turned off the speaker and turned to Jared, “Who is coming to this?”

“Our families and all our friends.”

“As in mutual friends?”

“Turns out that most of my friends have been his besties since they were kids.”

“Oh my god, this is going to be the best episode ever. Okay, are any of them musical, other than Jamie and Jensen?”

“Sandy, you’ve met them, think.”

“Oh my god,” she repeated. “So, you like taking videos of your friends, I saw the one of you and Chad and Mike trying to catch food in your mouths. How much do you do that at home?”

“Chad doesn’t go, like, anywhere without a camcorder.”

“So out of all your very talented and famous friends who do you have the best musical shots of: LeeAnn, Chris, Steve, or Jason?”

Jared thought, “I have a great one of Steve and Chris, well light, awesome audio doing Middle America Saturday Night acoustically.”

“Okay, I’ve decided: God loves you. Because I’m going to make you the most awesome promo ever. Email me all the videos from your computer, tag that one specifically.”

“Okay, then should I go to looping?”

“No, dude, you need to clear your schedule too. I need you to call every single one of your friends and get them to verbally agree to this promo and the Barbeque. Beg if you have to. Once you’ve done that you find me in the splicing room and we go shoot your plug.” 

~~~

Jensen was sort of thrilled to see the promo. He picked up the boys and excitedly told them about it saying, “Tim we need to talk to your dad because your family is so invited. We’re going to have a huge party.” He dropped Tim off along with a sleeping bag for Jamie and asked Jeff, “So you’re covering tomorrow?”

“It’s covered. I will pick Jamie up as well as his Bumblebee figurine tomorrow morning. You guys have a nice night.” 

At home he said, “Jared’s going to be home in an hour and a half. So go do your homework, okay? That way you two can cook all night if you like.” Jamie sat down in the living room and Jensen looked through the kitchen to see if they had everything. They didn’t. 

He called Annie and she picked up on the first ring saying, “In a meeting is it an emergency?”

“Would you pick me up some beetroots?” 

“Sure, see you in an hour.” 

Jensen was about to start on grading some quizzes when he heard the doorbell ring. The door didn’t instantly open and he went to see who it was. He popped his head in to look at Jamie who had a math book open and was counting on his fingers and continued on to the door. Chad was standing there looking slightly worried. “Hey, Chad, what’s up?”

“Hey, um, is Jared here?” 

“No, why?”

“I just assumed we were going out for fries after work to celebrate the end of the season but then he cleared his schedule and never called me and his cell phone’s off so I wanted to come by and see what was up.” 

“Oh, I can explain, come in.” Chad seemed hesitant but Jensen didn’t want to have the conversation so close to Jamie once they were in the kitchen Jensen spoke softly, “Jared’s going to cook for Jamie’s class. And a lot of tabloid guys hang around outside, so the Network is going to out him with a promo about the family barbeque episode being about us. So he’s been working on that all day. I’m sure he’s just so stressed out that he forgot to call you.” 

Chad nodded, “That’s fair, I mean it’s not like we discussed going for fries it’s just an old thing we did in college. It’s cool.” Jensen could tell he was disappointed. “I should go, let you get back to that.” He pointed to the stack of tests. 

“No, dude, I don’t have fries but I have a variety of juices, sodas, and wines. Jared should be home later to do a taste test dinner. He’s bringing Sandy, and Annie’s coming. We’ll have a little party to celebrate y’all finishing your season. So what’s your poison?”

“Um, Dr. Pepper?”

“We have that,” Jensen opened the fridge and got out the soda. 

Jamie came in holding his math book open and said, “Daddy, would you check it?” 

Jensen handed the soda and a glass to Chad saying, “Do the ice I don’t know how much you want.” He took the book and the blue leaded pencil from Jamie and said, “Okay.” 

The pencil had the words “Leahnant –Parents Are Important” written on it, Chad tilled his head to read it and laughed, “Who came up with that?”

“Oh,” Jensen looked at it. “The school gives us them. They’re blue so that I can correct the homework and go over it before Jamie goes into class and the teacher can see the original mistakes. The slogan’s to remind some parents that teachers aren’t the only people responsible for a child’s education.” He read it over and circled something. 

Jamie jumped up onto the counter and looked at it. It was long strings of one and two digit numbers being added and subtracted. “What’s wrong?”

“Okay, so, you got it right at first: twenty-two plus fifteen is thirty-seven, thirty-seven minus ten is twenty-seven, twenty-seven minus eight is nineteen. But what is nineteen plus seventeen? Hint: it’s not thirty-four.” 

Jamie sat and thought, “Thirty-six.”

“That’s right. Everything else is good.” Jensen ran his fingers through Jamie’s hair. “Other stuff?” 

“Yeah, I have spot the spelling error. I like that game, it’s easy. Be back in a minute.”

He jumped off the counter and Jensen called after him, “Don’t rush!” Turning to Chad he said, “I’m afraid of calculus and geometry. I mean a blue pencil doesn’t help when you have got no idea what the right answer is.” Chad gave him an uncomfortable smile. “Are you nervous here, Chad?”

Chad sort of grimaced and said, “I just don’t want to be in the way of homework checking.”

“That might be part of it. But that’s not it.”

“Well, Tom and really all of Jared’s friends –or I guess your friends— they sort of treat me like the fat kid with the glasses whom Jared makes them hang out with. I know I’m brash, and too direct, and I’ve had Gonaria twice, but I’m nice.” 

“I was the fat kid with glasses. My mom said I was pleasantly plump, or cutely cuddly, or big boned, lots of alliterative euphemisms for fat kid.”

“See, I also have a knack for saying the wrong thing.” 

“I like you, Chad. And it’s not just because of Milo, he told me,” he added at the surprised look Chad gave him. “I like that you’re direct and I like that you start Conga lines: those are good qualities.”

“Here’s some more directness for you: you’re mean and you’re cold. But they like you.”

“Well, maybe it’s because I’m a little more relaxed, low key. You could try turning it down. You actually remind me of Tom when he was younger, before he mellowed a little. He might resent you for stealing his role. But as my mother likes to say when someone’s not nice to me: fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. Turn up, drink their beer, eat their food, and don’t give a shit if they don’t like you. What do they matter? Mike, Jared, and I like you so y’know,” Jamie walked into the room, “forget them,” Jensen said quickly making it more innocent. 

“Who?” asked Jamie. 

“Chad has some friends who aren’t nice to him.” 

Jamie turned to Chad and said, sagely, “Just because you say you’re friends doesn’t mean you’re friends. People who aren’t nice to you don’t count.” He handed his English workbook to Jensen and said, “I’m done.”

Jensen glanced it over, “Correct. Done with everything?” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna go play Styx.” 

“Baby, what about the summer recital? It’s in two weeks. Are your two songs ready?” 

“Mostly.”

“Mostly isn’t all-ly. Go play them, twice each, and once your done you can play as much Styx as you like.” Jamie gave him a dirty look and Jensen said, “Do you want to look silly and get up on that stage and get lost halfway through or do you want to be good?” 

“Good,” Jamie replied petulantly and sulked his way out of the room.

Turning to Chad Jensen said, “A parent’s place is in the wrong.”

“You’re sure I’m not in the way?” asked Chad.

“I’ll make you a deal: if you ever stop by and it’s inconvenient or the household isn’t in the mood for guests I will tell you straight out.” 

“Okay then. It’s just… You seem like such a private person, and then at Mike’s barbeque and last night there were so many people around and I wasn’t sure if you really liked it or were just coping.” 

Jensen thought it was jump time as far as their tentative friendship was concerned and said, “I bought this place shortly after I proposed to Tricia. We were already planning on getting a place together because we toured together so much. And I wanted a really nice house for our family. I know that common belief, at least around here, is that we weren’t in love. But I know an awful lot of straight married couples who don’t have sex. We loved each other very much and this house was always filled with people, always. And then we had Jamie and we were new parents and we were always tired but people were still in and out, helping out, cooing over the baby. And he got a little older and neither of us really wanted to share him with other people, we wanted to be alone with our boy and have some quiet time because there was always so many people here and we were so scared about his allergies. And then she died and I needed that quiet time. So it was me, and him, and Annie. But I want it to be the old way.” 

“You know, if you’re doing this for Jared you don’t need to. He likes the angry you and he wouldn’t care if you stuck to the plan where you only see people on the weekend.”

“Chad, you are rapidly becoming one of my favorites. I know that Jared wouldn’t be upset. But it’s a better life. And I’m working at it, getting back there. It’s hard when I stop and think. We wanted two more kids; we were planning two more kids. So right now, I’m trying to not think too much because thinking doesn’t get me anywhere. But you’re right. We do need a bit more down time. I’m thinking we could do a schedule: Tuesdays and Thursday could be open nights, then Friday is Jamie’s date night, Saturday is grownup date night if we can grab it, and Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday could just be family nights. Excepting important sports events, and occasional Sunday afternoon barbeques.” 

Chad tilted his glass at Jensen like a toast and said, “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

“So what are you doing with your break now that the season’s over?”

Chad snorted derisively, “I’m on location for a movie next Thursday.”

“What do you do on movies?” asked Jensen. 

“I’m a Director of Photography.”

“No way, anything I’ve seen?”

“Calypso’s Journey?” Chad offered. 

“For serious? You’re Chad Michael Murray? That opening, God, it’s one single shot for eighteen minutes, panning through that house and pausing in each room to look at the person there and then keeps moving. And for the rest of the film there’s not one shot for more than four minutes. And the colors and the lighting. That was you.”

“I should tell you, it may be an honor to be nominated but it is so much better to win an Oscar or three.” 

“Why do you work on a cable cooking show?”

“When Jared jokingly offered me the job I knew he’d be shocked if I took. Besides, he’s my best friend, I like working with him.”

Jensen just laughed and he heard Annie call, “I have your beetroots!” 

“Kitchen,” Jensen called back. As she walked in he said, “Chad is Chad Michael Murray.” 

A shocked look passed over her face and then a flash of remembering. “I knew I knew your face! You’re the guy who apologized to his girlfriend for giving her Chlamydia during his acceptance speech at the Oscars.”

“She told me the only way she would forgive me was for me to make a public apology. But it turns out she was being hyperbolic and was not pleased as her family was watching.” He smiled at Jensen, “I have a knack for saying the wrong thing.” 

~~~

Jared was worried about how late he was. He opened the front door calling his apology, “Sorry I’m late.” He heard Jamie playing Mr. Roboto and looked into the dining room, “That song is really awesome and it sounds great.”

“Thanks,” said Jamie not looking away from the sheet music.

Walking into the kitchen he saw that Jensen wasn’t smiling as he said, “There’s a house rule: if you’re late you can’t come in.” 

“Oh,” and Jared was a little confused. “Seriously?”

Jensen shook his head, “No, Jared, you don’t have an appointment for which to be late.” Jared broke into a smile and Jensen said, “I like you, Jay, but you’re a little slow sometimes.” Jared laughed but then he saw Chad and instantly stopped laughing.

“I forgot about our fry date, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, Chad.”

Chad shook his head, “I’ve been shooting the shit with Jensen for an hour, it’s cool.”

“Why are you late?” asked Jensen, “Promo stuff?” He glanced at the William Sonoma bag Jared was holding.

“Not, I got out early because of that. But I realized that my clear sided fryer has had doughnuts in it so I don’t want to use it for Jamie. I had to go to William Sonoma to get a one with a big clear lid so the class could still watch the frying.” He pulled the deep fryer out and handed the box to Jensen. 

Jensen barely glanced at it; he’d looked at the Krups High Performance Deep Fryer longingly in the catalogue but decided he really didn’t need it. “You spent four hundred dollars on a deep fryer so that six-year-olds have a view.”

“Well, I’ve been wanting it for a while, and I get a really good discount.” He pulled something else out of the bag wrapped in a separate plastic bag and then pulled rubber gloves out of his back pocket. “Put these on for me.”

“In front of Chad? That’s kinky,” Jensen said snapping them on. 

Jared him the bag and said, “Tell me if I need to march it straight back to the car.”

“The gloves might be over kill,” Jensen said as he pulled out the olive oil. “Olive oil has nothing but olive oil in it.”

“But what about the plant? Is there a way to know?” 

“Call them and ask, there’s a phone number.” He took off one of the gloves as Annie walked in hanging up the phone. “Need to make a call.” She threw it and he caught it with one hand. He dialed and put it to his ear. “Hi, yes. I just bought a bottle of your premium dipping oil. I have a little boy with sever food allergies and need to know what else is in the plant where you bottle it. Uh-huh. Cool, thank you.” He hung up. “They produce five different pure olive oils. You’re good.” He put the oil on the counter and pulled off his other glove. “Thank you for bringing the gloves.” He leaned forward and kissed Jared slowly, unconcerned about the other people in the room. “You’re totally awesome,” he said finally pulling away. 

“I should get cooking,” said Jared washing his hands. “Jamie!” he called, “want to come cook?” He heard the piano key lid slamming and saw the way Jensen flinched. “Sorry, Jen.” 

Jamie ran into the kitchen, “Jamie, please don’t slam the lid on the keys.”

“Sorry, Daddy. Hi, everyone. Jared, what do I do?” 

“Wash your hands. My friend Sandy is coming so their six of us. And Daddy has three really yummy sounding dressings. So we’re going to make three little test burgers for each person.” 

“Jamie, what’s six plus six plus six?” asked Chad. 

Jamie gave him a sort of disbelieving look, like maybe Chad was simple for not knowing on his own, “It’s eighteen, Chad.” 

“I was making a joke, ‘cause of your homework.”

“Oh,” Jamie said, “I see.” He didn’t force a laugh though. That actually made Jared laugh. Jamie hopped onto the counter and started to wash his hands. 

Jared went through the cupboards and pulled out the spices he wanted. “We’re going to make the burgers not too spicy.” 

“I like spicy,” Jamie complained. 

“Yeah but most kids don’t. Think of the kids in your class: what do they usually have for lunch?” 

“Sandwiches, turkey or peanut butter.”

“Bland,” Jared said. “Now I totally agree that these burgers would be awesome if they were really mouthwateringly spicy. But we want to keep the popular vote as to who has the coolest ‘Bring a Parent to School Day.’ We can win easily but we need to not go overboard. And I think we should make the less spicy burgers for the test run so we know which dressing is best.” 

“Okay,” agreed Jamie. 

They went to work like a machine. Jamie worked on mixing the burgers, Jared started to make the rolls, Jensen started pealing beetroots, Annie started on the dressings. Jared saw that Chad had nothing to do and was about to give him a job when Chad walked over to the fridge. It was odd because Chad was never very comfortable in new people’s house. Chad went through the veggie drawer and pulled out a lime. Jared didn’t get it but Jensen laughed, “Totally, dude.” Chad tossed the lime to Jensen who caught it one handed. It was warming. He watched Jensen hand a grater to Chad who began grating a beetroot into a bowl. Jensen set up the deep fryer. “Do you want the new oil in this?” he asked looking at Jared. He must have caught the way Jared had looked at him and smiled, “What?” 

“What are you two doing?” asked Jared.

“Grated raw beetroots covered with lime and salt are delicious,” said Chad. 

“Chad and I were discussing how amazing it is earlier,” said Jensen. “The new oil?” he asked again. 

“Yeah, thanks.” It struck him as odd to see the person he was in love with being so cool with Chad. He put the rolls aside to rise and helped Jamie make the little burgers.

“Are you sure Sandy is coming?” asked Jamie. 

“She’s like a cat: she always turns up around dinner.” 

He and Jamie formed the patties. Jared put them into the fridge to firm up before putting them on the griddle. The patties were so little that he wanted to make sure they would stick together even though for optimum softness he would like to form them right on the griddle. They washed their hands together at the sink. He put the rolls into the oven. Jamie pulled fruit out of the fridge and started to skin a kiwi, “Making the fruit salad?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah, I like cutting fruit ‘cause it’s sort of like cutting cold play-dough.”

“Want help?”

“No, thank you. I like doing it.” Jamie adroitly diced the kiwi in his hand and moved on to the next one. Jared didn’t move away from him though. Jamie was a great little cook but he was also six and therefore could not be trusted with knives. When Jared was six his mother wouldn’t even let him hold a sharp knife she had cut up his meat before giving him the plate. And, while Jamie was awesome, Jared knew from tons of cooking experiences that it’s when you think everything is under control that someone ends up bleeding. So he stayed put and watched Jamie slice up two more kiwis, two large oranges, two apples, three bananas. Jamie scooped each fully cut ingredient into a bowl as he went and finally added raspberries to the top of the bowl. He looked at Jared somberly and said very softly, “I miss pears so bad, Jared. Don’t tell Daddy. He’s sad enough about my allergies. I loved pears. They’re the last thing I lost. I liked the feeling in my mouth.” 

It’s so soft that even though Jensen’s only five feet away he is oblivious. But Jared leans down to rest his forehead against Jamie’s, “It’ll get better. You’ll get older and try more things and you’ll find something you like that makes it so you don’t miss pears. I’ll have a think about things with a similar texture.” He moved away to kiss Jamie’s forehead. He sprinkled sugar on top of the fruit, and got some saran wrap to cover the top of the bowl, and put it back into the fridge to let all the juices soak together and make their own syrup. He kissed Jamie’s forehead again as they washed their hands again. “Want to help me cook the burgers?”

It went back to being fun as they cooked the little burgers on the huge griddle Jensen had. Jensen’s cookware was all chef quality. Jared figured that, even though Jensen wasn’t a chef, the guy spent so much time focused on cooking that it was understandable. As a Texan he would never claim that old-fashioned griddle fried hamburgers are better than grilled one but there was something so comforting about the smell of burgers frying in butter. He pulled the rolls out of the oven to let them rest. And he finally noticed that the other three adults were all staring into the clear top of his new deep fryer. There was a huge pile of fried beetroot chips already sitting on paper towel. “You guys realize we’re cooking for six, not sixteen, right?”

“It’s like dinner and a show,” Chad responded and then brought them over the bowl of raw beetroot covered in lime juice and salt he had made. “You should try this. It’s awesome.” Jared and Jamie ate it, and it was awesome, while finishing up the burgers. 

There was a knock at the door just as they started making up plates and Jared said, “Told you: like a cat.”

“It’s open,” Jensen shouted.

She called from the front hall, “I’m so sorry I’m so late. I have the final cut promo. Some little girl was all, ‘You’ve been hogging that cutting room all day.’ And I was all, ‘Sweetie, I’m your boss and if I’m actually deigning to sit here all day you shouldn’t question what I’m doing.’ And I know it’s mean to pull the boss card but, whatever, the promo’s done. I had to sift through all of Chad’s freaking home videos. Does that idiot go anywhere without a camera?” She came into the room in a flurry. She smiled at Chad. “Hi, Chad.”

Chad held up his empty hands, “No camera.”

“I’m sorry. It’s fantastic that you do. It makes the promo so cool but I spent all day cutting five second shots together.”

Chad smiled at her easily, “It’s all good, Sands. Jensen, Jamie, Annie this is Sandy, our boss and dear friend.” 

“Sandy, I’ve heard so much about you,” said Jensen reaching out to shake her hand. “It’s a pleasure. Let’s eat and then you can show us the promo.” They finished dishing out the food and carried their plates into the dining room. They ate and talked about the family barbeque. Jamie wanted it to have a theme. But mostly he was just vying for putting pink lawn flamingos in their backyard. Jensen said that they were too trashy. 

Then they talked about actual food for the party. They had to decide which of the dressings to use for school. Chad unwaveringly supported the sweet barbeque sauce. Jensen liked the ranch so did Jamie but he was also really into the Cajun mayo. There was a lot of debate and arguing. But the beetroot chips were so good with the ranch that it was decided the winner. They ate their fruit salad while Jamie sat down on the bench and played one handed. It’s a good meal, not too complicated for the kids and fun and delicious.

The promo was cool. It was long, seventy seconds. It started with Chris and Steve singing the chorus of Middle America Saturday Night, “Big time dreams and small town nights. St. Junior saved our lives, smack dab in the middle of a middle American Saturday night.” 

It then cut to Jared standing in front of the typical red curtain with the food network logo on it. He had his big, pretty smile working for him as he said, “My Saturday is not your Saturday.” It cut away to the song underneath fast images: LeAnn laughing with Jason, Jess and Michael eating corn, Jensen and Annie talking. Jamie playing the piano, Jensen playing piano at the party, both of them playing together. Jared running with his dogs, Katie and Chad dancing. It cut to Jared in front of the curtain again, “That’s mostly because my family isn’t your family.” It back to the fast cut they were all party images, all light and happy. Katie Holmes, James Van Der Beek, James Marsters, Jared, and Tom playing basketball. There was a shot of when Jared and Jamie first met and Jamie was giving Jared a low five. The last shot was of Jared and Jensen dancing at Tom and Mike’s barbeque. Jared didn’t really remember slow dancing at the party, then again he didn’t remember Chad having a camera; he had been pretty drunk. He must have forwarded it to Sandy but he hadn’t watched it himself. It cut back to Jared one more time, “So Jensen and I are going to be throwing a great Family Barbeque. Food Network Nighttime: be there.” 

Jared worried about Jensen’s reaction. He probably hadn’t realized they’d been being filmed either. He waited for Jensen to say no. But what Jensen said was, “My God, our friends are all famous. I’ve really considered it until watching that highly exploiting commercial… That’s amazing. Good job, Sandy. I like it; it really pulls the viewer away from the gay aspect and towards the celebrity aspect.” 

Sandy looked at him worried, “I can’t tell if you’re serious or being very insulting.”

“No, I’m totally serious. I love it. It’s very clever but it’s innocently manipulative. It’s not like it’s meanly exploitative. I mean it: thank you. Can we keep this copy? The grandparents will love it.”

She smiled, “Totally.” 

“Thank you, and thank you for working so hard, honestly. Jamie, it’s time for a bath and bed.”

“But, Daddy, we have guest and we’re still talking,” Jamie said with a yawn curling into Annie’s side. 

“Well Annie and Jared can entertain them. You need to take a bath. You have a sleepover tomorrow and you need a good night’s sleep.” He picked up Jamie, “C’mon, bath.”

“Actually, I need to go to bed,” said Sandy. 

Chad smiled, “I need to go home and remind Sophia I love her.”

“And I have been up since four-thirty because of a phone conference with London. I want PJs and to watch the old Romeo and Juliette on the couch.” said Annie she stood and kissed both Jamie and Jensen’s cheeks. “I love you. Call you when I go to bed.” 

“Thank you. Say goodnight, Jamie,” Jensen prompted. 

“Goodnight, everyone,” said Jamie. 

“Sandy, it was really great to meet you. Chad, a pleasure as always. C’mon, Jamie: let’s get you clean.”

Annie, Chad, and Sandy all collected up their stuff and Jared said, “I’m going to go for a run with the dogs.” Jensen smiled at him and left with Jamie. 

Jared was still unsure what Jensen thought of the promo but figured they would talk about it later. 

~~~

“So what did you think of the commercial?” asked Jensen as he lathered up Jamie’s hair. He was kneeling next to the bath. 

“Well, I liked it but I didn’t recognize a lot of the people. And I’m a little worried that it’s a family thing but I don’t remember them… can we maybe have a test run, like what Jared did with the lunch for Monday? Could we maybe have a big party without camera’s first?” 

Jensen smiled, “I’ll see what I can do. You’ll like them, they all like you.” 

“Okay. Will you give me a Mohawk?” he asked. He followed it with another question, “Did you really like it?”

“I really liked it.” Jensen pushed Jamie’s hair up into a Mohawk. 

“But you don’t like it when people look at you. You go quiet.”

“I used to like it a lot, Jamie, used to show off as much as you.”

“You don’t anymore.”

“I think I might start again. It’s more fun than being quiet. And for a long time I was really sad but I’m not so sad anymore.”

“Because of Jared.”

“Because of a lot of things Jared’s one of them.”

“Do I make you happy?” Jamie sounded worried as though it was maybe his fault that Jensen had been sad. 

“You make me happiest in the world. You’re the most important person in my life. Love you more than anything: more than cake. Head back,” Jamie tilted his head back and Jensen leaned over the tub to rinse Jamie’s hair. Jensen didn’t tell his son that he was only thing that’d been stopping Jensen from killing himself for so long. You can’t tell a six-year-old that. “And I’m sorry I was quiet and didn’t have people here. But we’ll have a test run of the barbeque and it’ll be good.” 

“I love you too, Daddy. Is there time for toys or do I have to go to bed now?” asked Jamie. Jamie was never really difficult at bedtime, not really. 

“There’s a little while.” Jensen reached for the crate where Jamie’s bath toys lived. He handed Jamie dinosaurs, octopuses, boats, pirates. Jamie wound the boats and got them sailing around the bathtub. A full scale war broke out between the dinosaurs and the aquatic creatures. The casualties sank to the bottom of the tub. The causalities included civilians: dead pirates, fisherman, and Optimus Prime all sleep in a watery grave alongside the dead fishes and dinosaurs. The dinosaurs won, as they always did when Jamie orchestrated the battle. “Time to get out.” He picked up Jamie and wrapped him in a towel. Jamie dried off, brushed his teeth, and stood still as Jensen brushed his hair. Jamie was quickly redressed into his Spongebob PJ’s and was settled into bed listening to Jensen and Tricia singing and playing music. Jensen sat on the bed with Jamie, just cuddling for a little while and finally he kissed him one last time and said, “Sleep well, baby. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

He walked back into the living room and smiled as Jared came in. He was sweaty, in shorts and an old t-shirt that says, “Grope Yourself: Avoid Testicular Cancer.” 

“Where did you get that?” asked Jensen smiling. He headed towards the kitchen where he poured them both a glass of wine.

“Chad took a screen printing class in college. I also have one that says, ‘My Name is Jared Ask Me Why I’m so Vain’ and one that says, ‘My Drunk Sport is Trying to Convince People Engineering is Fun.’” Jared took a sip of his wine and sat up on the counter.

“That’s a bit harsh.” 

“No, just honest. Chad had one that said, ‘My name is Chad Ask Me why I’m a Douche Bag’ and one that said, ‘My Drunk Sport is Vomiting on Hot Strangers and not Getting Their Numbers.’ Which was also accurate.”

“What about the vain one?” 

“I am vain. Besides when people would ask me I would just say, ‘Have you noticed how hot I am?’ and laugh.” Jensen laughed and Jared said, “Thanks for being so cool with him tonight.” 

“You don’t need to thank me. I really like him. And I’m going to have some words with the guys. He’s well aware of how they feel about him. It’s not cool… You didn’t tell me he’s Chad Michael Murray.” 

“Oh, well. He’s just Chad.” He must have seen the look Jensen gave him and said, “No, not like that: I’m not diminishing him.” He took a breath. “When I came here the first time you thought I was TV’s Chef Jared. I was a conceited egotist who was fake nice to your kid and had capped teeth. And now you wouldn’t say, ‘My boyfriend TV’s Chef Jared’ you would say, ‘My boy Jared’. He’s not Chad Michael Murray. He’s Chad Murray my best friend. And sure he’s an artistic genius but that’s not who he is. He didn’t even add his middle name until he needed to because there’s some other cinematographer with the same name.”

It was sweet, kind, honest. “I love you,” said Jensen. He leaned forward and kissed Jared slowly, “I really do.”

“Did you like the promo?”

“Loved it, loved seeing everyone.”

“I didn’t know Chad was filming at the barbeque.” 

“We looked good dancing together.”

“You sure you don’t mind? It’s a national spot.”

“No, I liked it. Liked seeing me on TV. I like showing off, deep down. And honestly, my parents and in-laws are going to adore it.”

“Okay,” Jared curled his fingers behind Jensen’s ear and guided him back to his mouth. “I’m glad. I like it.”

“Wanna go play in the pool?”

“And by that do you mean pool sex?” asked Jared, teasingly, against Jensen’s lips. 

“No. I mean,” Jensen kind of blushed, “actually playing. Let the dogs in with us. Get out the pool noodles.” Then he added quickly, “Don’t make a dirty joke about noodles.”

Jared chuckled, “I had such a good one.” He kissed Jensen, “That sounds awesome.” He drained his wine glass and walked towards the back door. The dogs were hot on his heels. 

Jensen watched Jared strip. He put his clothes on a chair at the patio table and then dove in. Sadie and Harley followed him quickly. Jensen went outside and started pulling out rafts, noodles, and torpedoes from the big toy box. He set up the basketball hoop and threw in little balls. 

“You’re serious about playing, aren’t you?” said Jared. 

“It’s been a strange day, lots of students, waiting for the promo. Are you into this?”

“Totally. I would love to beat your ass at basketball.” 

Jensen stripped, throwing his clothes towards Jared’s own. He went to the very end of the deep end and walked away from the edge. Taking a running start he did a cartwheel into the pool. As he came up, breaking the water surface he was laughing. “I love this pool.”

“That was very smooth.”

“I swim a lot after Jamie’s gone to bed. I find it really relaxing. Wanna have a tea party?” 

“We’re in the pool.”

“You’ve never played tea party?”

“I did with my sister and her dolls.”

“No, you sit on the bottom of the pool and say something and then you come up for air and see if the other person got it.”

“I can’t keep my eyes open under water.”

“I have goggles.” Jensen said and pushed himself up over the edge. He went back to the chest and pulled out goggles which he threw to Jared. 

“You’re very prepared.”

“I have a six-year-old. It makes it more acceptable to have lots of toys.” Jensen jumped back in. “Deep end or shallow?”

“Shallow. Let’s start slow.” 

“Okay,” agreed Jensen. He swam down to the end. He took a deep breath before sinking beneath the water. Jared swam under the water and sat down across from him. “Let’s start easy,” said Jensen through the water. “You’re wearing goggles.” He stood and spat out water. “What did I say?” 

“You said, ‘Let’s start easy: you’re wearing goggles.’ Right?”

“Totally. See, the vibrations and lip reading all help.” Jensen smiled. 

“How do you know who wins?”

“There’s no winner: it’s just fun.” 

They played for twenty minutes until they were both feeling dizzy. And finally Jared said, “I’m going to pass out if we keep this up. Basketball?”

“Sure” Jensen agreed. 

They treaded water in the deep end, making baskets and trying to shove each other out of the way. The dogs got really into the game, liked to help shove but were indiscriminate pushers. Jared made sixteen baskets in a row. The night was beautiful and not too hot. After a while Jared was totally out of breath. “How are you doing this?” 

“About three nights a week I spend two hours swimming laps after Jamie is asleep and before Annie calls me.” 

“You never told that on any of our not-dates.”

Jensen thought and said, “Tricia… the first thing she said when we were looking for houses was, ‘Buy a house without a pool so that we build the perfect one.’ We used to swim every night once everyone had left and Jamie was down for the night. Every night. And when we were not-dating I didn’t want to tell you that because we never told anyone. If Jamie had known he never would have gone to bed and other people would have stayed late. It was ours and I didn’t want to tell you that when you were a friend as opposed to a boyfriend.” 

“Thanks, for bringing me out here.” 

“Wanted you here. Haven’t had someone to play games with in too long. Been swimming alone for so long and I wanted to be with you tonight.” He leaned forward, still treading water, and kissed Jared slowly. “Wanna get out?” 

“Yeah, that would be good,” Jared nodded. Jensen watched him. The moon was bright and the water on Jared’s skin glinted. All the tight muscles moving under Jared’s skin made Jensen’s mouth water. He was waiting for the moment when Jared would realize, “Jen, do we have towels?” 

Jensen smirked, “No.”

“So how are we drying off?” asked Jared. 

“We’re streaking inside; it’s part of the fun.”

“What about Jamie?”

“Sleeps like the dead. Don’t worry about him. It’s just fun.”

“What about the dogs?” 

“Oh,” Jensen paused, “I didn’t think about that.” He pushed himself out to the pool. The dogs moved to the stairs and clambered out. 

“Shake,” Jared commanded. The dogs shook. “Shake.” They shook. Jared repeated the process five more times. 

“Jared, they’re short haired. It’s good enough.” 

“It’s weird. I thought you’d be a lot more anal about the dogs. I mean you’re such a neat freak.” 

“I may like things to be neat and clean but I don’t sweat the details. Life is not neat and clean and, while I like to start the day with everything in order, by the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.”

“When I put my clothes in your drawers I realized that yours are all arranged by the rainbow. You’re working the Roy G. Biv system.”

“I know which drawer to look in for whatever shirt I want.” Jensen picked up his and Jared’s clothes. “I started doing it on tour. It saves time.”

“It’s a little weird.” 

After the warm pool the air felt cool on his skin. “Inside, c’mon.”

“You sure he won’t wake up?”

“I’m positive. Last one into the bedroom loses.” 

“So what am I winning?”

Jensen moved to him and kissed him slowly. “Me,” He said against Jared’s lips then quickly added, “One, two, three, go.” He said it in a rush and ran before Jared could even grasp the words. The dogs skittered after Jensen. They got in Jared’s way and there was no chance for him to win. 

When he got to the bedroom he saw Jensen in the bathroom toweling off his hair. “You cheated.”

“I did,” Jensen agreed. He threw a towel to Jared and said, “Harley, Sadie, out.” He pointed to the door and they left the bedroom. “I don’t want them to watch.” 

“I agree,” said Jared. He shut the door behind the dogs, “So what do you win for cheating?”

~~~

Jensen didn’t look at him which worried Jared, “Do you ever top?” He didn’t look away from the mirror. 

“What?”

“I mean, in bed, do you ever top?” 

“Sometimes, it depends who I’m with. I like sex, all sex, sex is awesome. I just go with the flow. I like everything.”

“It depends who you’re with?” repeated Jensen.

“Yeah.”

“So when you’re with a top you never top?”

“I just go with the flow,” Jared repeated. 

“So if I ask you to top will you do it just because I ask? I want this but I want you to be happy, pleased. I don’t want you to do it just because I ask. Sunday night, you were so excited about all of my ‘in control top’ tendencies. So would this excite you? Or is it not what you want?” He still didn’t look at Jared, seemed so hesitant about even asking. 

Jared went to him stood behind him and kissed his neck. He spoke softly into Jensen’s ear as he ran his hands over Jensen’s body. “When I told you that the internet had fake naked pictures of you, you said I might be disappointed if I ever saw you naked. How could that possibly be true? You’re so beautiful, so sexy. So much better than any of the people making the fakes could have guessed. How could I not want anything you’re willing to give me? Want every part of you, Jen, every part. Whatever you ask for, whatever you want, I want it too.” He bit Jensen’s ear and drag his body back against him so that Jensen would feel his growing erection. He ran his hands up Jensen’s torso and played with Jensen’s nipples. “What do you want?”

“I want you to top?” it came out as a question.

“And how do you want me to do that?” asked Jared still speaking softly. 

“I don’t mean that I want you to screw me, I mean I do, but… I mean, I want you to be in control. I want you to be in charge, don’t ask, just tell me. You make the decisions.” 

“You’ll tell me if you don’t like something?”

“It’s not sadomasochism: we don’t need a safe word. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” 

“Good boy, so good.” He pulled Jensen out of the bathroom and pushed him gently to the bed. “On your back in the middle of the bed.” He walked to the bedside table and pulled out the condoms and lube and threw them to the foot of the bed. He then kneeled on the bed and straddled Jensen’s hips. He put his hands either side of Jensen’s head. “So how is it that you win but I feel like the victor?” He licked up Jensen’s neck and felt that Jensen’s heart was racing, “Are you sure that this is what you want?” Jensen panted, nodding. Jared was pretty sure that Jensen wanted this, wanted not to think, because of the next day. But he was willing to give anything to Jensen. He kissed down Jensen’s body. Jensen’s body was so hard, taut with anxiety. “Relax, Jen, it’s just me.” He licked Jensen’s navel. He had never really gotten it when guys did it to him but Jensen writhed and lost his stiffness. 

“God, Jared, so good. Needed this. Please, Jared, please.” Jared wasn’t used to Jensen losing his cool. Even in bed Jensen was controlled. Sure he was passionate but never so easy.

“I’m in charge,” Jared licked his thigh then blew over it. Jensen bucked up. “Shhh, I’ve got you.” He nuzzled Jensen’s cock, sucked a kiss into the side but didn’t do anything else. He moved lower. Jensen moaned. 

“Love you, God, love you so much,” Jensen gasped. “Feel so good.” 

Jared sucked at skin. He pulled Jensen’s testicles into his mouth. Jensen bucked up, but Jared pushed him down, one hand on Jensen’s thigh and one on his abdomen, held him open and sucked. Jensen moaned and Jared released him saying, “You’re really loud.” 

“Don’t worry. Nothing short of an earthquake can wake him. We’re good. Don’t stop. Jared, don’t stop, Christ.”

Jared licked at Jensen’s perineum. He let go of Jensen’s thigh. He licked and rubbed and Jensen moaned so pretty. “You sound so good, Jen. Feel good, smell good. So good.” He licked and rubbed and Jensen was writhing but so clearly trying to be good, trying to stay on the bed. He rubbed behind, closer to the entrance. 

“Jared, want it, want it so bad, please.”

“Patience, Jen, you’ll get it.” He kept licking but rubbed against Jensen’s hole. He reached for the lube and poured a generous amount on his fingers. It was so tight. “God, Jen, when was the last time?”

“Freshman year.” 

“That’s over seven years,” Jared said blowing against the skin, watching it twitch. 

“Oh, god, you believe in seven year virginity?”

“You’re so tight, like no one’s ever been here.” So tight, good, hot, fuck, fuck, fuck. He licked and kissed and pushed his tongue inside, darting, quick. 

“Fuck, please, fuck.”

Jared wouldn’t rush, it was too important. He licked and kissed and fucked the hole open. He added one finger just the tip, slid it in and out. He added more lube and pushed in more, crooking his finger. Jensen pushed his hips up, exposing more of himself to Jared. “So pretty, taste so good.”

“Please, please, need so much more, anything, anything, Jay.” 

Jared took pity and added another finger. The hole stretched with his fingers, “You never speak this much in bed.”

“Shut up, love you.” Jared chuckled. He crooked his fingers and Jensen jumped like he’d been electrically shocked, “Fuck, fuck, man, Jesusfuckingchrist, so good, please. Want it.” And Jared was feeling it, wanted it as much as Jensen. He scissored his fingers pulling in and out. “I’m ready.”

“I’m huge,” Jared added another finger and Jensen fucked himself on Jared’s hand. Jared moved back up his body to kiss Jensen. Jensen sucked Jared’s tongue, tasting himself. 

“You have lube on your nose,” Jensen said, panting between kisses. It didn’t stop him from kissing Jared hard. He wrapped his hands in Jared’s hair. “Can I, can I touch myself?”

“Not until I’m inside, not coming until I’m fucking you.”

“We need to do this more, so good, too long, fuck, Jay.” He moved his hands to Jared’s shoulders for more leverage. 

Jared felt like he was ready, Jensen was open, wanting. And Jared slowly pulled his fingers away. Jensen clawed at his back and whined. “It’s okay, it’s all okay.” He opened the condom and carefully slid it on. He lined himself up, pulled one of Jensen’s legs over his hip, and slid slowly inside. Jensen shuddered and froze. Jared stopped and stroked Jensen’s thighs. He stayed exactly where he was, feeling himself throb, Jensen pulsed around him.

“Why stopping?” Jensen whined.

“Hurting you.”

“It’ll get better, want more.”

“No, I’ll make it great. I’m in charge.” He messaged Jensen’s thighs and moved ever so slowly deeper. He needed more and sucked hard on Jensen’s throat.

“Yeah, yeah, good.” Jensen gripped Jared’s ass. 

Finally he was in. Jensen’s ass was fluttering. And it felt so amazing. Jared made shallow little thrusts in and out. Jensen pulled Jared’s head back up to kiss him. Jared fucked his mouth with his tongue, with punishing brutality, possessive and harsh, and so fucking necessary. Jensen made slight movements, he felt looser around him and Jared said, “You ready?” 

“So much more than.” He wrapped his other leg around Jared’s hip. He shoved himself up and down. “Fuck.” Jared pulled out farther and pushed in harder, faster. He sucked kisses down Jensen’s neck, pushed himself up from the bed and leaned down to suck Jensen’s nipples. Jensen shook again and Jared knew he’d hid hit the right angle and he did it again and again. “Not enough, nowhere near enough. Please, Jared, whatever: just more.” 

Jared pushed three fingers into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen sucked desperately, like it would make it better. It just pushed Jared harder. He pumped in and out, as fast as he could. Jensen twirled his tongue around the fingers. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” 

Jensen opened his mouth, spoke around the fingers. “Please let me. I need to touch.” He shut his mouth, sucking harder. 

“Yeah, okay, touch yourself.” He leaned back, watching Jensen’s fist, pulling himself furiously. “Beautiful, all desperate. Want to do this more. So gorgeous. Fuck, Jen.”

“I can’t,” Jensen moaned still licking Jared’s fingers. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t, nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay, baby, it’s all okay.” 

And Jensen was coming, spurting all over his stomach. Jared still inside of him, still rock hard. “What are you doing?”

“We’re not done.” Jared slowly pulled put. He took off the condom, moved down the bed, and licked all of the come off Jensen’s stomach. And then he pulled Jensen’s hips up and licked his used, sore hole. He laved the pain, soothed the burn, “Didn’t even touch yourself for so long, such a good boy. Not until I said so.” He licked inside, kissed him so reverently. His hard cock bumped into Jensen’s leg and hissed. 

“You’re still hard.”

“Want to come in your desperate mouth, want that.”

“Not inside?”

“Later, later tonight. Gonna wake you up later and fuck you again. Right now I want your mouth. Wanna fuck you hoarse.” He waited for Jensen to protest but Jensen just moaned. He kissed Jensen’s cock and it jumped against his mouth. “You want it too.” He crawled up Jensen’s body, careful not to drag his cock over Jensen’s flesh. He was so close but he wanted it to last. This was what Jensen wanted, wanted to be ordered around and Jared wanted to be perfect. He slowly kissed his mouth, gently. He stroked Jensen’s cheek. “Right?”

Jensen turned his head to kissed Jared’s palm. “You know I do.” 

Jared rolled them so that Jensen was on top. He pushed Jensen down his body. Jensen didn’t pause, didn’t draw it out, because Jared hadn’t told him to. He sucked Jared in hungrily. And Jared wanted to fuck upwards but he gave Jensen a moment to relax. It was all talk, he didn’t want to use Jensen or be rough, he waited until Jensen was bobbing up and down to buck into his hips up. He curled one hand around Jensen’s ear and he let his other hand rest over his cheek. Beneath his palm he could feel himself moving under Jensen’s skin. “Fuck, Jen, I can’t hold out anymore.” Jensen looked up at him. A smirk was in his eyes and Jared couldn’t stop himself. It was so hard and fast, come dribbled out of the corner of Jensen’s mouth as he swallowed over and over. He pulled away, licking his lips. And then he lunged for Jared’s mouth, kissing slow and long. “Happy?” 

“So happy.” Jared moved Jensen off of him and started to get out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.” He pulled his PJ pants over his hips. “Stay right where you are.”

He quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed the red wine and their glasses off the counter. He saw Jensen’s cell phone was blinking and snatched that up too. Then he sprinted back to the bedroom. “Ta-da!” He said holding the wine up. Jensen laughed. “Also: you missed a call.” He tossed the cell onto the bed. Jensen quickly dialed his voicemail. It made Jared smile. That was so comfortingly Jensen. 

Hanging up he said, “Annie says goodnight and she hopes our hot sex is really hot. Which it so is.” He put the lube back on the bedside and threw the condom and wrapper into the waste bin. He reached for Jared, “Come back now, need you here.” Jared sat next to him and poured out the wine. “What are we drinking to?”

“Cheating to win,” said Jared smiling. He handed one glass to Jensen and they clinked their glasses together. “We didn’t even pull back the sheets.” 

“Totally overrated,” Jensen said sipping his wine. But he scooted up the bed to pull the cover out from under him. As he pulled the covers up over him he said, “Get under here.” Jared moved close to him and wrapped his free arm around Jensen’s waist. 

“No pants?” asked Jared. 

“No, you’re gonna fuck me again later. I’ll put on pants after that.”

“And a t-shirt: you’re covered in hickies.”

“Awesome,” said Jensen smiling and feeling the tender spots on his neck, “Totally awesome.”

Jared sipped his wine. “You haven’t done that in eleven years?”

“I may have some trust issues.” Jensen ducked his head. 

Jared laughed, “You wouldn’t even let me date you for two months.”

“You’re flashy.” 

“I’m not flashy.”

“Yes you are.” He leaned over and kissed Jared’s neck. “I love you.”

“Even though I’m flashy?” 

“You’re not that flashy.” Jensen nipped at Jared’s neck. He put down his half drank glass of wine on his bedside table and said, “I’m going to sleep. Wake me up when you want to fuck me again.” Jared put his own glass down, put the cork back in the bottle, turned off the light, and then curled around Jensen. “You’re the big spoon.”

Jared laughed and threw Jensen’s words back to him, “You think in spoons: that is so gay.” 

~~~

He woke up slowly. There was a mouth on his cock and fingers stretching him open. “Jared, love you.” He came weakly, pathetically into Jared’s mouth. “God, didn’t want to come yet.”

Jared pulled off and said, “I wanted you loose and used and dazed when I fucked into you.” He moved Jensen like a rag doll shoving his legs open. “Look at you.” He had three fingers into Jensen, messaging him prostate. “You’re still open from before. So good and sexy. You love this, don’t you?”

“Love it with you, love everything your doing.” He could barely move, too sleepy, glowing. 

Jared must have read Jensen’s body, “You don’t have to work for this, just enjoy it.”

“I’m floating.” 

“Good.” Jensen closed his eyes. He heard the condom wrapper being opened and the cap coming off the lube but he didn’t open his eyes. Instead he just let the sensations rip over his body. It felt better than anything had in a long time. And he could remember the last time he’d let anyone top. Joshua Fucking Jackson was a dick, a mean, selfish dick. It was at the end of his slutty period. The slutty Jensen was dead because he had Josh who was just so fucking hot. But sex with Josh felt like a fight, a rough, mean fight. And no matter how good it felt in the moment Jensen always came away feeling like the loser. Then Josh left him for stupid, ugly, incredibly beautiful Ali Larter. Jensen went back to being slutty, and then to being a serial monogamist, and he never let anyone that close again, anyone but Tricia.

He felt him slipping onto Jared’s cock and it made him full and happy. He curled his hands into Jared’s hair and pulled him blindly for a kiss. “You okay?” asked Jared close to his ear, “You won’t look at me.” 

“Just enjoying it.” Jared’s hands were all over him. “Keep saying the same shit, feels so good.” 

“It’s all cool, you ride it.” 

It was slow and deep and Jensen just kept his eyes shut. Jared was mumbling in his ear about being adorable, sexy, so good, so hot, over and over again. And Jensen had no concept of time except that it lasted forever and ever and it felt gorgeous. He heard Jared’s gasp and knew he was going to come; then Jared froze and held him close. Jared pulled out slowly. He messaged Jensen’s thighs and rearranged Jensen’s limbs to be more comfortable. Jensen heard the noise of Jared throwing away the condom. 

“Wine?” asked Jared and Jensen nodded slowly opening his eyes. 

Jensen pushed himself up and reached for his wine. He sipped it down, finished it, and put the glass down again. Jared slid out of bed and went through the drawers to find suitable PJ’s for Jensen. Jensen studied him and said, “You better wear a shirt too. You have bloody scratches all up your back.” 

“Good,” Jared pulled his testicular cancer shirt back over his head. He gently dressed Jensen. “Go back to sleep.”

“Jared?” 

“Yeah?”

“Everything was so fucking good tonight. First time in a long time and it was perfect.”

Jared kissed him slowly, “I’ll wake you up in the morning. I’m glad you cheated.” 

Jensen fell back to sleep faster than he thought was possible. He felt good, and happy, and thought that tomorrow wouldn’t be too bad.


End file.
